Ellen:

Hold on, like, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. Like, I now have room. This, this Beachbody life and then weekends and all that all the energy I have given it, it's gone. And now I have room. All the energy I give I gave like, now I have that energy for something else.

Will:  

Hey, I'm Will Brereton, founder of SH1FT Fitness and this is Group Fitness Real Talk, a show about how to survive and even thrive in group fitness in 2021 and beyond. Are you often worried about what people think of you? Or have you been concerned that people might judge you for a certain aspect of your life or your body image? These are all difficult but very common things for human beings to feel. And they can be even more exaggerated. For us as group fitness instructors by the nature of our jobs, we're putting ourselves in front of people every day, and that can sometimes make us feel very vulnerable. Today on the show, I'm speaking to Ellen de word, she's a former Beachbody Master Trainer, we worked together there, and she has recently created the Warrior Method. Ellen opens up very honestly about how she got into fitness, the struggles that she's had to overcome, and also the really relatable constant friction between becoming comfortable in her own skin and worrying that others would judge her for her decisions. Ellen shares some of her challenging moments, and she's gone through an amazing personal journey to get where she is today. But what's really inspiring about Ellen's story is that by allowing herself to free her mind from the worry of others judgment, she was able to become the person she wanted to be. And in doing so she's created a life and fitness career where she feels truly happy and fulfilled. Ellen de Werd, welcome to the podcast. How are you?

Ellen  

I am good. I'm so excited to hang out with you here today.

Will:  

Me too. It's been so long since we've actually seen each other in person, but it's kind of nice to see you on camera. 

Ellen  

Thank you, you as well. 

Will:  

So tell us where you are calling in from or podcasting in from today.

Ellen  

I am in Eugene, Oregon. So I'm in the Pacific Northwest here.

Will:  

And what time is it there?

Ellen  

It's three o'clock on Thursday here.

Will:  

Okay, so for people listening, where I'm in the future for Elon, because it is almost midday on Friday for me. It's kind of crazy that we're like a full day apart, no?

Ellen  

It's so bizarre.

Will:  

Yeah, it's weird. So I'm really happy to have you on the podcast because I want to talk to you about all the fun stuff that you've been doing in the last year. But maybe you could begin by giving our listeners a little bit of a background on you and your time in the fitness industry.

Ellen  

Well, okay, I am so happy to be here too. I'm so excited. Um, I'm gonna start like way back.

Will:  

At the beginning,

Ellen  

I'm gonna start way back because I, and you don't know the story about me well, but I want to give you sort of like the context of where I was when group exercise came into my life. So I was like this skinny tomboy growing up. So like, I loved sports. So that's actually where I feel like fitness came into my life is just from as you know, as soon as I could hold a ball, I like loved fitness. And then and then comes High School. And in high school, I loved sports and played, you know, volleyball, basketball, and soccer and was really, really good at them. But I was starting to gain weight, like quickly. And, you know, also that age, like being a teenager and was a hard time. And it's a hard time to be gaining weight and gaining weight quickly when you are in like a self conscious. I think it was a terribly self conscious time of my life. And I remember gaining weight quickly like getting, like dark colored stretch marks. And like I remember, I remember one day coming home because I lived close to my high school and so I could like come home for lunch and I remember like walking home and kind of like feeling the sensation of like my inner thighs kind of rubbing together and, and they hadn't, you know, for very long, like that was a new sensation. And then I remember like sitting down and I don't know if I was going to eat or whatever it was sitting down and I remember like feeling for the first time in my life, like the physical sensation of like fat on my back kind of touching itself. And just just being aware and like I remember like in that same sort of like genre like my dad kind of like squeezing my love handles and I was just terribly embarrassed and I was like, I think something's wrong with me. I think something's wrong with me. I my friends, they can like stop eating when they're And I can't. Like I think I'm just I think I'm becoming, I think I'm gonna become like one of these morbidly obese people and yet, like, I love sports and I like, I'm good at sports, but it's, but but my weight was starting to interfere with that. And so I made a horrible decision to, like, this was a decision I made to develop an eating disorder. I was like, there's that's a thing like, you know, people are anorexic, or bulimic, and they lose weight that way. And since I can't stop eating, and I can't, you know, control myself. I'll try that. And

Will:  

So you like, specifically thought of these as being strategies that you could undertake to fix the thing that you perceive to be wrong?

Ellen  

Isn't that the weirdest thing? It's exactly right. I like went to the library and got books about like anorexia nervosa, and was like, so how do people do this? 

Will:  

Wow. 

Ellen  

I know. And so, um, I, you know, lost a lot of weight. And I didn't know, I didn't know that that decision was going to be that, that, that my life would spin out of control, because of that decision. I just thought that would be something I could control. And it wasn't and, you know, kind of along the trajectory of like, an eating disorder life, like I became profoundly depressed. And, and so so anyway, this is like part of the backstory kind of setting the stage for you in house.

Will:  

This was not the backstory that I was expecting.

Ellen  

Yeah, so okay, so anyway, um, there was a few things like I did, you know, thank god like I became free eventually from the the eating disordered, really like addictive lifestyle, obsessive compulsive behaviors that I was in. But part of one of the things that helped me over the years that it took to kind of recover was I did go to an eating disorders unit for like, five months where like, it was a day, it was like a day treatment where you go all day, you learn about nutrition, they lock the toilets after the meals and, and yes, truly, literally, like, toilet lids are locked after the after the meals. So I still struggled, but like I did get to a normal body weight. So that's important. Like I started menstruating again, I got to normal body weight. And then case fast forward just a little bit. I got married very young. And then I got pregnant. And I like was not a baby person at all. And, like, I didn't like their soft spots and everything were so scary to me. I was terrified. I didn't think I was mom material. Like, I just I was terrified. I was still super messed up in my head. Like, I was not totally free of eating disorder. I was just pregnant, which, which was another piece of recovery because I had something to live for, besides myself. So it was a blessing. And he's 23 now and such a blessing. But, um, so I had the baby. Wait, pause. You also need to know that with eating disorder, I'm sure you do know this, that like exercise disordered thinking is also part of that. So I was like, a slave to exercising. 

Will:  

I think it's a maybe a bigger part of it for a lot of people within the industry for a long time than we have been willing to admit. As as an industry, I think, and it's being like encouraged, right? 

Ellen  

Yeah, yeah. So I honestly like I hated exercise. I was just like a slave to the treadmill for 1000 calories or whatever. And it was like penance. And so anyway, so I have the baby. And the doctor is like so anyway, even during my pregnancy, I was like on the elliptical constantly. 

Will:  

And I'm just looking back and there have been these people in my classes. And it's it can be and they're doing you know, two classes in a row and also all the classes and it can be really tricky situation, right? Like, and this is from someone who kind of knows there's something not quite right here. But I remember conversations within the gym where you're worried about a you're worried about a member or a class member. It's very difficult to do anything about that, right? Because yes, it's just a very tricky situation. So I'm really, I'm sure there's people listening to this that have had the same situation. So tell me a little bit about kind of what was going through your head and, and your experience being that person?

Ellen  

Um, yeah, well, I just wanted to be anonymous, so I wasn't in classes. So I was just in the gym hiding in baggy clothes. And you know, there's so much body image dysmorphia. So those people like myself, you know, we don't see ourselves the way other people do. So, so really, truly we don't see ourselves as that, you know, disturbingly underweight person so. So the doctor says like, ease back in to exercise. You just had a baby. Yeah. So I'm like, Okay, I'll do that thing that I've always seen like people that aren't real serious about fitness when I'm at the gym like those people that are in like that room doing like the aerobics, it was called back then it was called aerobics.

Will:  

Shade, wait. So aerobics was your, welllll, I'll just ease myself back in. Yes. Not really exercise.

Ellen  

Well, yes, because that's what I thought I was obviously wrong.

Will:  

What was real exercise at this point in your,

Ellen  

like, heavy lifting like, and crazy cardio. I don't know. And like the sports, I just thought, I just thought...

Will:  

We've already acknowledged that you weren't, you didn't have the best frame of mind. 

Ellen  

No, I didn't have the best frame of mind. And I was just such a tomboy. I just thought that that was something there actually weren't a lot of men back in that era of my life in those in group exercise. So I just thought it was kind of like what the, the girls that were like serious about fitness, I didn't think they were in there. I mean, I'm not saying I was right. It was just my perception. So I thought, Okay, I'm gonna ease back into I'll go into one of those, I'll go into one of those classes. So again, I was postpartum. So I had a postpartum body. And I was self conscious. And also like, I, I didn't know it then. But I was also postpartum, like, I was definitely depressed. And so I go into a class to an enter group exercise into my life. And it was a step class.

Will:  

so you went for like the aerobicsiest aerobics class that you could find.

Ellen  

I didn't know. I didn't know. And Will I had no rhythm at all. So like I you know, I didn't know the step aerobics language. I didn't know like, Mambo, cha cha, repeater, turn step, whatever. So I go in, I'm hiding in the back row, I'm wearing oversized clothes. And, you know, of course, I realized immediately that I was wrong about the fitness level of these people, because I couldn't breathe. So I'm like, out of breath. And like, above all, I was humiliated because I was so bad at it. And and then here goes, here's my punch line. The instructor over the microphone, like called me out and said, I should go to a beginners class.

Will:  

Oh, no. Right. Right so you were the anonymous person at the back of the gym, just doing some stuff. You go along for your first experience. And ow, how did that feel? 

Ellen  

Oh, I was like, I was I was already self conscious. So it made me feel so well. Honestly, I was like, I'm never doing this again. I'm never ever doing this again. You know, I don't belong, I don't belong there. And so I mean, the the beautiful part of the story, and I wish it would make a better story if I could remember, like, why, but I, for some reason, because it because I can't even imagine like what my life would be like today had I not pivoted, but for some reason, I was like, I'll go back, I'll go back. And so I go back, and different instructor. And I do want to say like, to you and like just for your listeners, like this instructor was decades older than me. I mean, decades, I was 21. And she was probably 60s. And she immediately connected to me, I mean to my soul. I only bring up the age because I think like ageism is a thing in our industry too. And it like, it had nothing like she just she she she grabbed my soul. And she connected me to the souls around and and, and I felt the culture and community of her room and I instantly felt like I was a part of it and I still sucked at step aerobics. But I, I did it and like I was like, Okay, I kept coming back and like, probably like any group exercise junkie, like because I fell in love with her. I did everything she did, like all it, you know, spin and kickbox and whatever. So I followed her like a little puppy everywhere. And and it wasn't just her like I said it was the community I wanted, I was part of her community. And, and so this is this is the part of the story too. That's really beautiful. I I started to be like, wait, what are these? Like, what are these muscles that I'm feeling like I'm smiling, like, I wouldn't notice that I'm I would notice that I was happy. And I was like this the only hour in 24 hours, my 24 hour days, this the only hour that I feel happy and, and so, okay, so I started to love it. And I also started to lose some of that postpartum weight in a healthy way. And so suddenly, like that one change, group exercise, shifted, every single piece of my life that was out of balance started to like, shift into balance, whether it was like how I was feeling about food, how I was feeling about exercise, I mean, everything just sort of, finally, after years, shifted into balance, and it was really because of her her community and what group exercise can be for people.

Will:  

Right, does she know that she had that impact on you? Did you share that with her?

Ellen  

You know, sadly, this is terrible. She really doesn't, it was in a different, you know, it was in a different city. And, and really, she doesn't, I'm sure she's retired. And I've tried to find her on Facebook and stuff.

Will:  

It's a nice story, because I think that for, for a lot of, for a lot of group fitness instructors, a lot of us that have taught for a long time. And I have similar stories, like the like the one you've just told in terms of like finding, finding that spirit. And also people that have like later on said to me that I helped them with something that they were going through. But in an industry where you can often feel underappreciated, and underpaid. And like in the latest sort of iteration of change, where you've had to, you know, move online or do some things that are really, really difficult, just taking the time to appreciate that we don't always know the positive impact that we're having. But by bringing exercise to people's lives, it is happening. And you just have to kind of keep the faith because they look at who you're now going on to podcasts and speaking to sort of 1000s of instructors and telling them how meaningful that experience was. And she may never know, which is also something we can all take away, right? Because it's right, are you listening to this, who teaches classes may have that person that they have had this impact on?

Ellen  

They do have that person, I mean, they do that person is there and that like, like, that's when the seed was planted for like this is this is what I want to do with my life like this. Because I thought if you know, she had like 40 people in her classes, and I thought if if I was the only one in there, that that was the one bright spot where I felt like my head was coming above water. You know, if I was one if I was the only one? And if I do that someday, then then maybe there will be maybe there will be one. And you know, yeah, it's such a good takeaway. It's so true.

Will:  

That's a very nice story. Well, considering that that started in a place that I wasn't expecting, it does end up in a place that I think carries us through very nicely to some of the other stuff I want to talk to you about. So for those of you that are listening, and we will link to all of this, you have created your own format, actually multiple formats now, right. And we're gonna get to that. But I want you to take me through a little bit around what you were doing prior to the creation of warrior rhythm and your other formats. So we obviously met when you joined the Beachbody, it was talent, it was Beachbody live talent teams is that what we called it at the time?

Ellen  

 Not not that we didn't meet on talent team. We did. But we met. We met at like a master trainer boot camp kind of a thing. Talent team was just related to the videos, right. So I think we met...

Will:  

Yeah,, was it at an airport hotel? I think it was.

Ellen  

Yeah, that was like a boot camp. That was like the Master Trainer boot camp where you made a few that's where you made a profound impact on my life. 

Will:  

Oh, you know, I do. Yeah, I do.

Ellen  

I'm telling your listeners the story. I'm telling your listeners...They get to know this story. So basically, okay, but really, in all seriousness, it was a it was a master trainer, newbie boot camp, meaning I was brand new. And we were there from like, all different parts of the country to kind of learn how to be a master trainer. And it was really intimidating. Like, it was really intimidating. And there were there was, you know, we were being, you know, like, evaluated and scrutinized and stuff like that. 

Will:  

You know I often look back on that and I feel like the world and not not about like your story in particular. But I felt that the world has changed a bit. And there was like, some of the stuff that we used to do in terms of critiquing. And feedback could often be really, really harsh, right? Like, I think that the whole world has changed and stuff, that stuff that was okay, back then it would be considered to be bullying now, and I think it's good that we've made that change. But I remember, like the whole process of someone being a group fitness instructor and making the step up to being a presenter, or a trainer often involves some really harsh feedback that I look back and think what what that wasn't an enjoyable experience on the person, but sorry to interrupt, but I just think like, I often think back in and often think I would have, I would have, I wish we had conducted it differently. And I'm glad that we've learned a little bit about how to develop people in a nice and kind way. There was awesome feedback was like people got some pretty rough feedback in the past and I'm like, I've taken that on board with you. The stuff I do is shift where even when I need to tell someone that they're doing something in a way they could improve, like, the language they use is so different to where it used to be. Sorry, that was me sort of jumping in on you.

Ellen  

No, that's fine. No, it's good. I so agree. But so anyway, I was just and I was new to it. So I was kind of questioning myself. And, you know, do I fit in? And am I good enough. And I like, I remember you pulling me aside, kind of outside and a little tucked away like doorway to a conference room or something. And I remember you, I don't remember your words. But I remember, I remember how I felt. I remember how you made me feel. And I remember that I, you saw something in me that you thought was special. And I believed you. Like, I wasn't sure there was something in me that was, but I believed that you did. And I had so much respect for you. That that was enough. And I've like so many times, like since I have, I've thought about that moment. Because truly that was like that moment with you in that hotel was had a lot has a lot to do with like where I am today. And and, and learning to believe in myself, which I think we kind of what we're talking about today. 

Will:  

I love that I can have that impact on you. But I think I like I think it has less to do with me and more to do with some like the the opportunity for you to appreciate some of the stuff that you had to give to the world. This is mutual appreciation society. Tell me okay, so that was your introduction to being a Beachbody Master Trainer. Tell me a little bit about your experiences there. So I know that we've talked about this, one of the interesting things that people may not know about you if they are listening to this podcast and haven't come across you, but we'll put all your social media links, okay, is that you have a very unique look, thanks to your tattoos. And I know that that was that was a, a something that you questioned about where your place would be in fitness when you started doing that. So maybe you could take us through a little bit of that, because I think your story is very much a case of deciding who you are and being unique. And this is very much a very sort of beautiful, and a statement element of kind of who you are.

Ellen  

I I it's it's hard to know, like, where to begin with all of that. But I I do think it ties in. I think that well, I guess I should say that I have a full bodysuit tattoo. So it's Japanese style, and it's basically wrist angle. And it is just one piece. So it's not like sometimes people say how many tattoos do you have? And I say one. But uh, you're right, I wouldn't have probably had any I don't even know that I'd started that maybe maybe had just started. But like, I grew up in a very, very conservative, very conservative home. very religious, we weren't allowed to listen to secular music. We, you know, we went to church three times a week, we didn't take the Lord's name in vain. And so like getting a tattoo was really considered taboo. But I'm also an artist so I just I like love the aesthetic piece to have good tattoo work. So I think there was just a part of me that was interested in tattoo culture, good, good tattoo culture, and in the aesthetics of it, and also just like, you know, I learned a lot like, it's, it's part of my story in sort of how I've evolved and where I am today in fitness. And as a woman is going through this process. And it wasn't overnight. It wasn't like one day I was like, I'm going to cover my whole entire body with tattoo.

Will:  

So the original decision wasn't so you didn't kind of go I'm getting a body suit and work towards it. Because like when I met you, I think he had maybe an arm and a leg. I can't remember exactly. But you know, you had like very noticeable tattoos in a way that was quite unusual for most of the women that were appearing in fitness videos and fitness DVDs at the time, but you hadn't gotten and everything. I remember when you got your back tattoo actually, I think, because it was just so beautiful.

Ellen  

True, you're right. I had like I had like the the beginnings of like an arm piece. That's right. And so no, I was still, it's so funny. It is like the perfect, I don't know if metaphor is the right word, perfect like with with my whole transformation because I was I wanted to do these brave and different and big things. But I was also scared and would kind of like put my toe in the water and then a little more and then a little more and then eventually it was like dive in altogether completely. And so that that was kind of the story of the tattoo. So I didn't know I really didn't even know about the Japanese style kind of and the culture around that the bodysuit tattoo at the time, but I had I was working on a sleeve. It's funny, I wanted a sleeve, but I I wanted to be able to hide it from my dad. Isn't that funny? I wanted. I was like, I don't know how old I was, 36, I was 36 and I wanted to hide it from my dad. So, um...

Will:  

So up until 36, you had you had no tattoos and there's nothing,

Ellen  

No tattoos? No, nno.

Will:  

That's quite, it's quite an unusual journey.

Ellen  

Yes. And because I thought like, my family might reject me just like, you know, there's the there's this fear of always I mean, I think that's human wanting to be liked and fear of people rejecting you. And, and so anyway, so I, I ended up with I ended up with one sleeve, and a full back piece. And I remember starting to see I started looking at like Japanese style body suits and realizing that this could if I did another sleeve and then I like it was following sort of the a progression in the development of a body suit. And so

Will:  

Is it all done by the same artist.

Ellen  

Yeah, yeah. Yep. And actually, two of my three adult children are actually getting bodysuits by the same artist.

Will:  

Yeah, I've seen that they look amazing. 

Ellen  

It's unbelievable. But, but it's funny. So like, back to your original question. I, I was afraid that not just Beachbody. But you know, I'm also like a manager like, uh, you know, I also work in fitness kind of big time locally, too, and in the community. And so, I was just sort of generally like, worried that I was afraid of judgment. And then I remember like, specifically, I remember. I remember when I was sitting with my tattoo artist, and we were talking about doing my chest like the chest piece. And he said, like, before we began that, that the outline, he said, Are you sure because people will judge you. If you tap to your chest, people will view you differently. And I remember like taking a deep breath, and being like, okay, and just knowing like, maybe Beachbody live is not going to want me in any more of their you know, that's the talent team piece the the fitness videos I was doing for like the instructor, you know, videos for, for the different brands, um, I was thinking like, maybe the email that I get that as the cast call, like, maybe those are going to stop coming. And they didn't thankfully, they didn't. I was pleasantly surprised by like, all of my fitness endeavors that that, that it was not received that way. I mean, there are definitely people in my life that were like, why would you do that to yourself? And there was definitely hater haters, but it was well received in in, you know, with my people I was reporting to anyway at the time. Yeah.

Will:  

And what was the, what was the driving force behind doing it? Was it the artists in you wanting to complete the full piece of art? Or did it come from kind of a, was there a deeper drive?

Ellen  

You know, it's funny that I'm not even 100% Sure. Like, yeah, Isn't that funny? Like you would think I like I want to write a book I really do about with pictures about why I did this tattoo bodysuit. And some days I'm not even sure. Although it did help me like metamorphasize, Idon't know the word. It is? Okay. It did help free me to be who I am today. And I did the process of being tattooed head to toe, completely liberated and empowered me to just be confident. This is who I am. I look different. I am different. It is okay. It is actually the best thing about me. And so I learned that about it. But I think I think the reason I was drawn to this is because I it was like the artist and me and the rebel and me all together, combined. And then it was an interesting process because it was kind of lonely. Like, I don't know, anyone. I don't have any friends other than people I've met on Instagram that you can, you know, you build relationships with people like that, but I don't there's no one in my life that went through. And sometimes when you're doing not sometimes, but always when you're doing large scale tattoo work. It doesn't you can leave an appointment and not not, you know, two months might go between appointments. I mean, I was being tattooed for six years. And and because you're doing large scale, you can't like it's not like a neat, pretty complete, like, okay, we're gonna send you on your way after eight hours and we finished the section. The section is so big like, yes, sometimes there's some very unfinished areas that look weird. And so there was lots of time during the process where I just probably looked a little bit weird in my gym clothes but that's okay

Will:  

It's like completely finished now?

Ellen  

Yeah, it's completely finished...

Will:  

Was that like an amazing experience to kind of finish something that had been such a, like obvious and material and long and at times difficult and at times lonely process.

Ellen  

It was actually for me incredibly victorious feeling and I get a lot of people say like, are you addicted to it? And are you do you miss it and I, I don't I miss I miss some of the relationships in the tattoo shop like I liked that going down there, it was a little commute. I don't I feel,, I love the completion and I'm proud, I'm so proud. It was a huge dedication of money, and time and pain. And I just I just, you know, I just, I'm very, very glad I don't miss going other than, you know, seeing the people. I'm just I'm glad it's done.

Will:  

So that kind of brings me to a to sort of the fitness back to the fitness side, which is and because you've done something that I think a lot of people who listen might like think that they would want to do at some point or might have dreamed of doing which is you have started your own format that is uniquely you and your ethos. But that came out of quite a difficult period in terms of your career, right? Do you want to take us we've had some people on the show before who were part of Beachbody, but do you want to take us through your story about being part of something that was big and an important part of your life and then that going away and how you rebuilt it?

Ellen  

Yeah, I would love to. I mean, first, I guess you know, I've been in the been in the fitness industry teaching now for like over 20 years. So I a lot of the times I was creating my own, whether it be weightlifting, or, you know, cycle routine, or whatever I do enjoy, you know how there's like you create your own versus pre choreography. And I've always enjoyed both, I've always liked having both types of group exercise formats that I personally teach. And so I like creating. And I think that's also part of like the right brain creative in me is it's it's really satisfying for me to create, like, it is like a piece of art like a workout that is well balanced. That makes sense that so so that's that's kind of just been part of me that existed. And then. So basically, in October of 2019, so before the pandemic, I was at work, I'm the athletic director at like, an Athletic Club in town here, a beautiful one. And I was kind of sitting in the cafe, and I actually got a it was a text from one of my colleagues, Master Trainer, colleague friends. And it said something like check your email. And she didn't normally text me. So I was like, what's going on. And um I checked my email and I saw that the Beachbody live operations were no more they were coming to an end and that and that the instructor community. Furthermore, it was going to find out like the following day. So it was so abrupt feeling. And while in hindsight, I can kind of think like, oh, the writing was actually on the wall. I hadn't seen it. I hadn't seen it while I was in it. You know, so. So it was it was, it was absolutely, to be honest, like very devastating to me, I had I think I based a huge sense of my identity that I liked around that title. And oh, I had become also a Lululemon ambassador. And so I remember thinking, like, I remember in that moment that I was at work and reading this email, like, what if Lululemon doesn't want me anymore, because now I'm not a master trainer. And I mean, nothing could have been farther from the truth. But that's how much my sense of my worth was, like tied into that title. And I, that's unfortunate that it was but it because it was, I felt this huge sense of loss. I also did love, like, couple of the programs that I presented and taught, I dearly loved and so I just was also like, you know, I mean, I cry, I sobbed. I mean, I just cried. I knew I wasn't alone.

Will:  

It's not an unusual experience, though, to define yourself by what you're doing or the company that you work for. Right. And I think that and this is a theme that's kind of resonated through a lot of the podcast episodes is like finding your own unique brand and your own self in the in the face of a and this was obviously pre pandemic but the pandemic has had the same effect on a lot of people who found a lot of their, a lot of their identity, a lot of the character and the job that they worked for and obviously, for fitness instructors that's really relevant. But I think it applies across the board, right? Like fitness is no different to many other industries, a lot of people have had a big chunk of their identity taken away from them recently. And I think, yes, we build back up post pandemic. Yeah, or people like fitness instructors, or people that are, you know, like artists or freelance workers or people that are doing a job that requires them to have a certain skill set, it's really important, I think, and this is certainly something I believe, and if people don't believe this, then that is absolutely fine too. But I just believe that we should all be thinking about ourselves as our own brand, our own company working for ourselves, and not quite investing as much effort in other people's things because they can be taken away, and you can still be 100% on board and 100% bought into a company's mission without that becoming your mission. You need to have and we've talked about this in some other episodes, you need to have your own why. And I feel that and this is something that I have done in the past too, for sure, is that I've subsumed my  why into the why of the company that I was working for or with and then not and then I've found that I got to the end of that particular role and I kind of felt like I could have, I could have I could have done just as good a job. But I could have also been thinking about myself and being a little bit more, not selfish, but a little bit more focused on where I was going to be and that's really important because at the end of the day fitness instructors you know, we are self employed most of the time and yeah, we are building a skill set and it's important to to understand what you give away and what also you use to build yourself.

Ellen  

Yeah, yeah, like this notion that that the instructor is the is the forefront, you know, there and and maybe a brand that they represent is is in the backdrop, but who they are and and their their sense of you know, their entrepreneurial spirit about, you know, their where they work and how they teach is is is leading the identity.

Will:  

I think a lot of instructors because they fell in love with a because they fell in love with fitness often through a particular path. It might have been Pyo might be turbo kick, it might be Blizzard pump, it might be Zumba, but because they fall in love with an element of fitness and then that becomes the entry point to fitness, they fade they forget that people might like pump or they might like Zumba, but they're coming back to see you and me and acknowledging that is is the first step and understanding like we might go from there.

Ellen  

Yeah, that is so true. They are coming back for the instructor. So true.

Will:  

Okay, so you were it was pre pandemic.

Ellen  

Not long after. Yes. So yeah, it's pre pandemic and I was kind of in the fetal position like dry heaving and crying about the the loss of of the identity and the program that I also loved and you know, that you know, they become like our friends, the program, the programs, the workouts. So, yeah, and then I you know, I went to a yoga class and as a student and the instructor kind of said something to the class about how often we need to give something up like take something off of our plates in order to grow or something something something to that effect, I don't know. And I I just it like landed, it landed on me and I was like, well, I didn't I didn't take this off my plate but it got taken off but you know, in my heart I was like this. Hold on, like, hang on, hang on. Hang on there. Hang on. Like I now have room this this Beachbody life and and the weekends and all that all the energy I have given it it's gone. And now I have room all the energy I give I gave like now I have that energy for something else. Yeah. And so it was like literally like I love this about I love this about Warrior Rhythm's story is that the the the the idea was came to me on a yoga mat as a student you know when I was like I'll just create my own thing there was always things about and I adore PiYo there were things about it, you know that if I was you know, if I if I had my way, in fact, do you remember when, do you remember when we were literally allowed to do different things? Do you remember?

Will:  

Oh, that was pre my time. I probably came in with all the rules. The format will be this and that none of that.

Ellen  

Oh my gosh, that is hysterical. Okay, so pre-will.

Will:  

I do remember that PiYo was an open source format where you can kind of pick and choose.

Ellen  

Yes. Okay, so listen to this little let me go on this little tiny vignette, that is hysterical. This was pre-Will. Okay, so I remember that I taught PiYo at this, like, but it was a this was like, oh my gosh 2005 or six or something I don't know, it was, it was before boutiques were like a thing. Honestly, like their boutiques weren't around. But this like really cool yoga guy in in town. He had this beautiful garage down downtown. It was beautiful. It was like a you know, like an industrial kind of a garage. And he had a yoga studio and it was like badass yoga. Like they played heavy metal and it was like really cool. And I called it the tire because he he was like all into like, you know, eco friendly and environmentally friendly. And they had these like recycled tires on their floor. And so it smelled like a tire and I called it the tire. And I taught PiYo at the Tire. And we were allowed and I was so I remember using like weights. And I remember like doing adding in like, do you know the bird of paradise series in yoga is like a beautiful, yeah. Okay. I remember like adding in like this move and changing, we were allowed to, I wasn't breaking the rules, because you hadn't apparently established them yet. But I was like...

Will:  

Hey, I didn't make the rules, I just enforced them.

Ellen  

I was like playing hard rock. And it was like, and then I like loved the mindfulness piece. And so I was like, it was like, it was like, I guess it was like, pre pre pre warrior rhythm. I was like doing my own thing. And and then and then the rule, then apparently you came and like the rules were forced. And so I had to do it their way. But okay, so anyway, back to sorry about that vignette. Back to your original like, question. So, so So I decided I was going to do my own thing. And that that could be that could be beautiful. And that I would have I had the time and I had the energy. And it would be cathartic and therapeutic instead of like wallowing in my victimhood, it would put me in charge of, of my feelings and, and my energy. So I really enjoy that was very therapeutic for me, and it gave me something really positive to focus on instead of being stuck. And, and, and as much as I loved those programs, as soon as operations ended, like, I didn't really want to continue to be associated with a comp, like I wanted to replace them as much as I didn't want to give them up I I wanted to, like have my name to be associated with like forward moving fitness, you know, things that were so so anyway. So I when I created warrior rhythm. I, I didn't know, I don't think I even I mean, maybe I thought maybe there was like a, maybe a seed of maybe this could be something that other people want to teach. But I, I definitely know that at first, it was just for me, I I'm like I'm a fitness director. So one of the benefits of that job for the fitness directors that are listening, they're gonna be like nodding their heads, like, one of the benefits is you have control of the schedule. So I was like, well, my PiYo classes, you know, I'm gonna change to some things. And since I'm the director, I can just I will be teaching this new thing I'm creating. And that's really the reason it wasn't like, Oh, I want to start this new business, per se. But so I started putting it, I just started kind of talking and showing what I was doing, I put it on the schedule, at the club that I work at, in January, so the quarter one of the group exercise calendar year, we added Warrior Rhythm to the schedule, and it was just me and nobody else and, and so I started kind of sharing that. And this is just a couple, three, three months before the pandemic. So it's just barely barely out there. But there was all these I don't have like a monster social media following, but those that do. They really, I think know me through a lot of them through the PiYo brand. And so a lot of them also lost something. And a lot of them needed something. And so I was actually being kind of inundated with messages like pretty much I think, like every day, and I remember opening like a notepad in my app in my phone like and starting like, you know, @fitnesswithKim, interested, like I was trying to keep track of like, some people are interested in this. And it started just so like, so it's we it is still tiny, to be honest. But it started so tiny. I mean, it started with like, well, maybe I'll share this choreography and this playlist for so and so to test and then and then and then the pandemic hit. And again, more space, more room for me to create. And I actually love being home. I feel very creative at home. And so I just started to write like, right and when I started to write the manual, I mean, I've got I've had a million certifications over 20 years, I didn't look at a single manual because I didn't want to I wanted to be different. I wanted to do it differently. So I just started writing and writing and I came up with the manual and I asked you to review it for me. So you, so that's sort of how how it was, how how it came to be.

Will:  

And so tell me a little bit about the process of launching your own instructive brand. Like, how did you find that? Just going from teaching from teaching it and having a few inquiries to actually like, creating it, getting it certified, like how was it?

Ellen  

Oh, okay. So I mean, it was just this like gradual, little, small group of probably all, probably all PiYo instructors that were interested. And so I basically gave the and it was funny, I referred to them, I still do, I still use the little grass emoji like the little two little two green little sprouts. I still use that emoji next to some of them when I when we're communicating online, but I call them like the grassroots team. And I was, you know, we would do coffee talks that were small enough that I could be like, on a Saturday after I would teach a live zoom, who wants to do a coffee talk, and we'll just kind of talk about the format. And so it's really been a really intimate thing. And then, and then once I had the certification done, the distance learning online course, where you could learn how to teach the format, but it wasn't accredited yet. I was, at first I let the grassroots the grassroots, folks do it for free. Yeah. And, and, and no, it wasn't actually for free. They also had to spell check, grammar check. There were strings attached. I was like, you can do it for free, but I need your help. And really just checking for like website functionality, because honestly, like at the time, and this is also pre you because you, you gave me some really good counsel and how to level up later. But at the time, I was doing everything, I was the videographer. I was the choreographer I was the market sales and marketing. I was tech support. I was web design I was I was doing everything and things that aren't totally in my wheelhouse. And so, so they that first grassroots team kind of went through the certification, they would send me Google Docs, like with feedback and, and then we just tightened it up, tighten it up, tighten it up, tighten it up, got accredited, then I started charging, you know, and you've given me some really good, good feedback. And so we've been really like leveling up. It's been great. 

Will:  

I think that is one of them. One of my personal motto for 2021 is take everything that I learned last year, and then try and level it up. So with Warrier Rhythm, and I know you've got some other formats that I'm going to ask about. But can you tell me what just just sum it up for anybody that's listening, and we will put links to this in shownnotes so people can check out the website for themselves. Elevator pitch.

Like what is it? Like what is it? It's like rebel yoga, it's rebel yoga. So like our yoga purists are probably not going to be for them. But it it does incorporate some mindfulness and some some some weightlifting, some HIIT training and some yoga and it's really truly yoga. And it's not like, it's not like just fitness yoga. It's it's it really does incorporate yoga. And when we lift and we do HIIT training, those are like separate like we, we take a section of the class and do some weightlifting, we take a section and do some but it's it's pretty much just like badass rebel yoga.

Will:  

It's the it's the yoga and strength expression of Ellen. 

Ellen  

Yes, yes, yes. Yes. And, and like, I would also say that I'm super in love with the culture of the instructors. I'm like, I'm just in awe. And I'm so like, I could not have hand selected better human beings. And I'm surprised by who they are, like, I there are people in my life that I was that I thought, like, they're gonna want to do this with me. And then they, they they aren't. And then there are people that I'm like, well, who are who are you? And then they're just wonderful, but like, part of our culture. And it's funny, we start I started talking about like, my, my history with eating and like body acceptance and all these things, but part of our culture is really, that have self acceptance, and kind of the stay wild and be be be confident and support others. And even in our even in our sort of our vision statement, we say that we want to be known for our stay wild and self acceptance culture more than more than for caloric expenditure. Yeah. So I love the culture.

Will:  

One of the things I love about this, and as you said, I did a review of the training course which I know you've iterated on, and you're constantly building. One of the things I really liked about it is having known you for a while now and having seen your growth and change and development of confidence. What I love about warrior rhythm is that it has that ethos to it and looks to instill that in the people that take the class, which I think is really nice. So what are the other formats, so tell us about the other formats. And then I'm gonna ask you a finishing question.

Ellen  

So the other format is brand new. It's basically in its it's just barely out of its grassroots and it's called warrior strength. It's 2 30-minute formats. One is kind of bodyweight cardio. And it is, it's very easy to teach, and it has the same like, format. Every single class, it has the 654321 cardio countdown, yeah, and it's just, you know, high metabolic, you know, it's HIIT training. And, and also rock and roll, like, we play a lot of crazy music. And then, um, and then, and then it's kind of complement, the other 30 minute version of that full 60 minute thing is called get pumped. And that's just more like weight training, more more strength training, and those two can be taught together, or separately, or in either order. And it's, it's also newly accredited and very easy, very easy to teach or even coach, you know, if the instructor has overuse injuries, or they're in their 40s.

Ellen  

Okay, so, to finish up, I want to ask you something that I'm asking a lot of our guests this year, which is, if you like from taking what you learn in 2020, what's the primary piece of advice? And if you want to give more than one you can, but what is the biggest piece of advice you would give to an instructor in 2021? Like, what what's your kernel of wisdom or kernels of wisdom? If you could give instructors listening one piece of advice for how to really smash through 2021, based on what you've learned, what would it be?

Ellen  

Well, based on what I've, based on what I learned in the middle of a pandemic, is just be on the balls of your feet. Like, I mean, just constantly be willing to try new things. I mean, and and and have the confidence to execute and maybe fail.

Will:  

Yeah, yes, having having the confidence to try and fail is the quickest way to develop a, more confidence but b, to get to a point where you're not failing anymore, right? No one who was afraid to fail ever really accomplished anything. Mic drop?

Ellen  

I made a mike drop visual.

Will:  

Mike drop emoji. Thank you for being on the show. It was so nice to talk to you. And I know that like we talk a lot. But it was very nice for me to have you share your story with the people listening, we will put a whole lot of links to warrior rhythm and your other formats so that people can check it out. But thank you very much for coming on the show.

Ellen  

Oh, my gosh, it was so my pleasure. Thank you so much.

Will:  

So that was my chat with Ellen. Her story is one that I think of a lot of us can relate to. When Ellen spoke about her tattoo journey in particular, she mentioned the worry about judgment that she would face for her decisions and the group fitness community. And although most of you listening probably can't relate specifically to a full body suit tattoo, you may have other struggles that you've faced in your identity as a group fitness instructor. Maybe you've worried that you're too old, or that your technique isn't as good as others. Or maybe it's that your body type doesn't look fit enough, whatever that means. I've got a piece of advice for you, worrying about what other people think of you will get you nowhere. It's a waste of your time and your energy. Alan learned that and by doing so she freed herself to carve out the fitness career that she always wanted. As a group fitness instructor, it's normal to want everyone to like us. But the simple truth is that not everybody will you won't be everyone's cup of tea. Don't worry about that one person that doesn't like you, and stop focusing on the vast majority of people that you reach and that love you for being you. Remember, at the start of my conversation with Ellen, when she mentioned the 60 year old woman who inspired her to get into great fitness, she never got to tell that woman and I guarantee you that there are people that you've inspired that you will never know about. My challenge to you is that when you're having moments of insecurity or self doubt is to trust in this fact, know that there are people out there that you have inspired even if you don't know them. And rest assured that if you keep bringing 100% of your authentic self to group fitness, the impact that you can have on your community is profound. Thank you for listening. If you're enjoying the show, don't forget to subscribe for all the latest episodes wherever you get your podcasts. And while you're there, please drop us a review. You can also get in touch with me at will@sh1ftfitness.com. I'm Will Brereton and you've been listening to Group Fitness Real Talk.